So here I am at midnight blogging...my friends and family would say that is the true sign that I am feeling like myself, but I am going to blame my late night energy on the fact that I still need a nap in the afternoon!
The reality is that I have nervous energy. I think this is something like a college freshman has the week before he/she leaves home and has the feeling that they must do everything one last time before they leave the security of the nest and start a new phase of their life. There is a similar syndrome I have noticed in my brothers as they have prepared to leave on missions--the urge to cram everything in one last time before life changes for a specific period of time. Or maybe its that nesting urge that new mothers have--that feeling that you have to get as much done as you can before that bundle of joy arrives that will change your life forever. So chemo isn't exactly something to look forward to like a new baby or that freshman year at college...but it certainly qualifies as something that is going to change my routine for a specific period of time and will probably change the way I look at life for the next 50 years.
So since my last blog--the ONCO Type DX (oops think I called it a DS last blog--too lazy to go back and edit!) it was basically a sophisticated look at the cancer to attempt a risk of recurrence--and mine came back low--which is good--it placed my chance of recurrence at 9% in the next ten years. So now why am I going through with Chemo?? Because, honestly, I'm an overachiever and 10 years just isn't enough!! Since there are no studies that have gone for 40 years and we just don't know what the cancer plans on doing in the long term we are choosing to "spray the yard for weeds"--seems funny that Ken just spent the weekend giving the lawn its last dose of weed and feed to prepare the lawn for a healthy start in the spring just before our first snow arrived today...and I will go through the same process starting Tuesday--to prepare for future years of healthy springs. So bring on the chemo--It may put me into menopause so I figure I have lots of excuses for my mood swings for the next 18 weeks--and possibly the rest of my life. I have a few cute hats in case the hair thins or decides to exit entirely which my personal medical team (that makes me feel like I'm getting special attention if I call all the nurses, secretaries, lab techs, Drs etc etc...my "personal medical team") assures me is only a slight possibility...but most importantly I have a big fan club to cheer me on and help me do the laundry when I'm not feeling up to it....which I'm thinking might last the rest of my life too!!
So until Tuesday--you may not be able to get in touch--I'm out of the house and running like crazy!! So much Christmas Shopping and so little time!! Trying to enjoy the fact that I finally feel like myself again and can drive, cook, clean, hug, do laundry, take a shower without needing a nap and stay up past midnight. Life is good and I'm planning on living it up until the chemo makes me stop. Hug your friends and enjoy the fact that you can stress out about Christmas--Life is a precious gift and hopefully you can enjoy it without needing a crisis in your life to remind you--use my crisis and skip that step entirely!! Love you all--Jenifer
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I am keeping you front and center in all our celebrations this year. I thank you for sharing this experience, and letting us share our love, concern, prayers, and help in what ever way we can.
Here's to Tuesdays! May they always mark the start of bountiful springs in our futures!
Love to you, one and all.
Luck! Love you!
Hello my dear friend,
Today is Tuesday, chemo day, and I have been waiting patiently for your call. Know that you have been in my thoughts ALL day.
As I am sure all of your friends have been doing today as well. I hope you can feel of our love and prayers.
Thanks again for squeezing in our traditional Christmas luncheon! What a delightful day! You win with the most creative Christmas wrap hands down!!
I love you my friend, Jonelle
Post a Comment