Good News Bad News

Oh Dogfood!! Should have known I was getting off too easy--because that just usually doesn't happen to me. So today the reality stick hit in the form of my pathology report from the mastectomies....GOOD news is that NO CANCER was found in any of the Sentinel Lymph nodes (4 were biopsied) --that means I have a 98% chance that the cancer has not spread anywhere else in the body. Bad news is that the invasive cancer was bigger than 1 mm--it was in fact 1.1 cm and this tissue sample came back Her-2/neu positive (an indicator for needing chemo). Because of my age (who thought being young would be such a disadvantage) and the size of the invasive cancer...and the new info of the Her 2 positive status it is pretty much dumping me into the category for Chemo. Technically I am borderline...but my physician has gently suggested that Chemo is probably a smart move. So now instead of just recouping for the next 6 weeks I will be the topic of conversation for thursday morning conference (luckily I can just send ken to gather info and skip it myself) and will spend my non sleeping time meeting with oncologists, radiologists and my surgeons and preparing for chemo which could start as early as 3 weeks depending on how fast the sutures and bruising heal from the mastectomies.

So I think my surgeon put it in the best words today--"Thank God that you had a mammogram. You just got a whole new lease on life!" --Leigh Neumeyer. So I am crying tears of fear and grattitude all at once in realizing that I got lucky to find cancer early....just not as lucky as I had hoped. I think I fear the nausea of chemo more than anything...I should be prepared after throwing up with all four babies for the entire 9 months (okay with Andria it was 7 months of puking and 2 months of bedrest and pre-term labor) ...but somehow it doesn't make it any easier to think about or prepare for. Ryan has already promised to shave his head when I lose my hair....I have Seven Brothers and one Bro. in law...I'm thinking that I could have a really fun picture of lots of bald heads (Dad and Stevan already have the jump on us--maybe they can shave their legs too!) at the family reunion in June-- is it family portrait time? My girls have all politely declined the opportunity to join me in my bald state--so all you Sisters-in-law can breathe a sigh of relief.


So here we go on our "year that I had breast cancer" instead of the "season that I had breast cancer". Thanks to all of you who are checking in on us on the blog and in person. And a special thank you to all my sisters ( blood, inlaw, and soul) who are helping me (or should I say I am barely helping them ) keep the house and family functioning. My fridges and freezers are all filled to the brim...and so are our tummies. Thanks for all the gifts and flowers and the list goes on and on......You are all amazing and your love will help us through the dark moments.

Think Pink--hopefully someday this will be a disease that is even more beatable than it is today!

Thoughts of going European style tossed out!

Yep, it's true I must be feeling better because I got on the computer after the kids went to bed and here I am at almost midnight filling you in on my life as it is in reality. Today truly was a day of rest--I sent the family off to church and I sat in a chair and slept and relaxed. I actually watched the "Mothers Who Know" talk from the LDS Church General Conference to see what it was that everyone on the Wasatch front is so stirred up about--but realized I saw it the first time through and watching it the second time just reminded me that my role as a Mom is pretty important in that I have the opportunity to teach and influence 4 kids in more ways than I can influence anyone else in all my other activites. So thanks to all of you who have been exceptional models of how to be wonderful loving mothers--you inspire me in all that you do in your homes and your communities and you inspire me to enjoy the phase of my life that I get to spend as a mother of young...almost teenager children. Watching you glow as you talk about your kids and your families reminds me that I am lucky to learn how to mother from the BEST!

Okay--so onto my european fantasies-- I had the day of being royalty on Saturday --pointing here and there in the yard while my darling little helpers dug holes and planted bulbs and realized that I really am a "get your hands dirty kind of a girl"--not much of a "watching everyone else work while I sip lemonade" kind. Just didn't have that same kind of satisfaction I get from actually planting 200 bulbs by myself...but it was fun to watch my kids digging and I think it will be even more fun to have them report when "their" clumps of tulips or daffodils emerge in the spring-big thanks to Drill Sarg. Ken for rousting the troops and putting them to work so that they could still have the afternoon to hang out with friends.

So the life of ease and royalty isn't for me...and neither is the life the regular european gal...because (if you have a queasy stomach don't read this paragraph) I can't handle the itch of underarm hair!! (gross as Ryan so poetically put it!) I am learning to appreciate the little things of life like being able to shave under my arms...something I have been protesting about the inconvenience of for years! And while my showers have been seconds faster and less water wasted because if my inability to twist the right way...I'd still trade for just the simple pleasure of smooth underarms. So there you have it--I can't become a truly sophisticated European woman because of two minor details in my life...maybe I can still travel to Europe and enjoy all of the good stuff like bread and cheese and still have my razor and gardening gloves so I can pinch starts from all those "English gardens" (everyone does know that I am putting in for a trip to Europe for 20 yr anniversary that will be here in just a few years???)

Bottom line is that I have a pretty good life--Great friends, great family and hey--at least I have been able to shampoo my own hair this week...Looking forward to the other milestones of returning to good health like a nice sweat from the "Firm" weights and aerobic workout or a drive in the car that doesn't make me wince...oh...and the really good things like unrestrained, full body hugs from all the people I love. Can't wait for that!

Friday at Last!

What is it about Fridays that makes us all sigh in relief? The hope of a restful weekend and a new week ahead? The accomplishment of surviving another week of school, work, and life? Whatever the reason we are all glad we've made it to another weekend and the break from the routine of whatever else we have going on--hope you are looking forward to your weekend too!

Last Friday we were hunkered down crossing things off the to-do list and trying to get ready for the dreaded surgery....and today we celebrate the fact that surgery is over and things are looking better than we ever imagined a week ago. Friends have filled our house with the fragrance of flowers, cards have arrived in the mail, treats have been dropped on the porch, meals have been delivered, hair styled, good wishes left on the answering machine, kids delivered to their activities, prayers answered and hearts sustained through a week of uncertainty and worry-- We are blessed to have you all as family and friends and everyday we are reminded of how lucky we are to know you and have our lives touched by your acts of kindness.

And tomorrow the sun is supposed to shine and Ken has the kids lined up for a day of planting hope in the form of Tulip and Daffodil bulbs that I have every intention of watching bloom for many springs to come (minus of course the bulbs that we must share with our resident pet VOLE). I find it amazing how life continues to move forward in spite of all the things that make you want to just stop in your tracks and scream in frustration...somehow instead I find a 44D pink bra in the mail from a Jr. High friend with a note that says.. "there are easier ways to go about getting the chest you want!" and I find myself laughing instead of crying because of the ironies of life and friends that remind me of all the great things I have to smile about. So enjoy the sunshine, plant a bulb and send a card to someone that you've been thinking of--it really doesn't matter how simple or small the act of kindness is, it really does make the world a better place and I'm smiling today because of all the big and little things you've done to remind me that the world is still full of wonderful people.

Pathology report on the lymph nodes is still not back...but negative or positive we know we'll move through the next phase with your love and prayers carrying us through--You are the best!

10/25/07

Okay, okay...everyone told me to take it easy for the day so I did--I didn't even check my email! So it's true, It is good to be home, but I am sort of missing that gourmet restaurant that answered the phone and magically provided breakfast/lunch/dinner to order within 20 minutes--not that Joelle isn't doing a fabulous job of taking care of the house and keeping up with the kids...but we didn't put gourmet chef on the list of qualifications when we put out requests for help.

And my greatest apologies to all of you for the lovely pictures that you have been subjected to--I was under the influence of drugs when those pictures were taken and I think I look much better than the pictures show (and that is the mental picture I will keep in my head inspite of what the lens says). Funny how the little things in life become so important--like a warm shower and the ability to lift your arms above your head and wash your hair. I admit that I approached surgery with the worst case scenario pictures in my mind and so I am elated that I am coherent, can move my arms, wash my hair, and type on the computer and love on my family--at least for short periods of time before I need another 3 hour nap. I can now say that I have some really comfortable furniture to relax/sleep on...you all know me...I haven't spent much time sitting on all that furniture--just thought it looked good and hoped it was comfy--next goal is to test out all of those high definition TV's that have appeared in our house over the last year--Can't wait to watch Sesame Street in High Def--although I have heard rumors that there are other things on TV to watch these days.

Today I ventured out onto the patio to sit at the table and eat some yummy gourmet ravioli casserole (thanks visiting teachers!) and watch Andria and Hannah jump on the trampoline, play with hula hoops and try out the jump ropes--then I got invited to be the owner of a cute little black curly haired dog named Bella (alias Andria) and a cute little cat spotdot (alias Hannah). My job was to throw "sticks" to be fetched by my darling pets, and believe it or not I managed to play for at least 30 minutes--must be the pain meds and the insistance of my nurses that I take it easy. So it's true--I am trying to take it easy...hoping I can last for at least a few more days before my obsessive compulsive personality drives me to waking in the middle of the night to sneak in a project while everyone else is sleeping.

Lots of love to you all--the house smells like a garden shop, we've all gained at least 5 pounds and the Double D and "keeping you abreast of the news" jokes are keeping us all in stitches (no pun intended). Everyday we are counting our blessings and realizing that our cup is overflowing! Jen and family

No Place like Home!

Oct 24: Jen is discharged from the Hospital. Yea!! Good to have mom back home. Advised she can't lift anything heavier than 5 pounds. New laundry service provider under contract.

Party at 5506

Oct 23: Jen was kind enough to host a family party at suite 5506. Kids and candy made for a lively evening.

Post Op Day #1

Oct 23: I am having a hard time here up in my suite overlooking the Salt Lake valley. For lunch I had carmelized Salmon with Mango Salsa and Asparagus. It really was as good as it sounds. No laundry, no dishes, and no weeds to pull.

The nurses have me walking laps. Foley catheter (bladder catheter) is out, IV disconnected, A little nausea last night. Pain reasonably well controlled. Passing gas. Catching a few winks between visitors, nursing checks, or monitor beeps.

Thanks to all for the beautiful flowers.

Over all, feeling well.

Back in business

Oct 22: 11 PM after surgery. Life is good, the cell phone works in my hospital bed.

Dr. Egan and Jen just before surgery...

A successful day in the OR

Oct 22: After 6 hours in the OR, Jen is recovering well from surgery. The general surgeon, plastic surgeon, and anesthesiologist report that things went well. Yea! She is in room 5506 at the Huntsman Cancer Hospital.

Jen Goes to Surgery

Oct 22: Jen went to surgery at 3 PM. Anticipated operating time: 5 hours. Preliminary report three hours in: everything has gone well and Jen is behaving herself! She'll be staying at the Huntsman Cancer Hospital for 2 to 4 days after surgery.

What's Happened So Far

Sept 20: Jen goes in for a routine annual exam with her internist, Dr. Natalie Kim at the University of Utah. A "bump" in her left armpit was somewhat suspicious. She is sent to radiology for an ultrasound.

Sept 25: An ultrasound and mammogram were performed at the Hunstman Cancer Hospital. The ultrasound showed normal tissue in the left armpit. The mammogram showed "clustered amorphous and fine pleomorphic calcifications." in the left breast. The radiologist was Dr. Kathleen Puglia.

Sept 27: Met with Dr. Leigh Neumeyer, a general surgeon at the Huntsman Cancer Institute to discuss biopsy options. Advised that 65% of biopsies are negative.

Sept 28: Jen had a guide wire assisted breast biopsy. This involved going first to radiology for a second mammogram with placement of guide wires under radiographic guidance to place the tips of the guide wires at the site of the calcifications in the left breast. Jen has a syncopal episode (tries to faint), but the radiology technicians quickly catch her before she's out cold. Then she went to the operating room and the biopsy was done under light sedation and local anesthetic infiltration of the skin over the biopsy site. Anesthesia Doc tells Jen that a little drug goes a long way--"don't forget to breathe!" Jen does well after surgery and rides her bike in the Josie Johnson Memorial Ride the next day.

Oct 2: BIG BUMMER! Results of the biopsy showed a microscopic focus of invasive ductal carcinoma (1 mm) and ductal carcinoma in situ (pre cancerous cells) in several locations. The pathologist was Dr. L. Ralph Rohr. Ken and Jen break news to kids and family--and Andria comments "Mom, why did you have to grow a bump??" Laughter is good medicine!

Oct 5: Met with Dr. Neumeyer to discuss surgical options (left lumpectomy versus left mastectomy versus bilateral mastectomy). A lumpectomy is removal of breast tissue through a small incision at the skin areolar boarder. A mastectomy is removal of the breast from the chest wall. Recurrence rates versus surgical technique were reviewed. Overall, survival rates are the same with lumpectomy versus mastectomy. However, recurrence rates with a lumpectomy are 15-20% and 5% with mastectomy. There is a 15% chance of recurrence in the opposite breast.

Discussed radiation and chemotherapy. Radiation therapy used if only doing a lumpectomy. Radiation therapy used after a mastectomy if after resection, there is no discernable margin (from diseased tissue to non diseased tissue). Chemothearpy required if there is evidence of metastatic disease (spread of cancer from the breast to other tissues). At the time of surgery, Jen will be injected with a radio-labeled dye into her lymph nodes. This is done so that through the use of a probe that can pick up the radio labeled dye, the main lymph nodes draining the breast can be located. These nodes are called "sentinel nodes" The left side sentinel nodes will be biopsied for metastatic disease. --okay...in plain english cancer stinks and means you have to do torture to your body even though you feel perfectly fine!

Met with Dr. Jayant Agarwal from plastic and reconstructive surgery to discuss breast reconstruction options. Reconstruction options include saline implants, silicon implants, free flaps from the abdomen or back. Abdomen won't work for Jen, she has no abdominal fat--many people offer to be donors..too bad the technology isn't up to that level!

Oct 11: Breast MRI shows no evidence of residual disease in either breast.
Jen goes into nesting mode big time at the house...rooms get rearranged, closets reorganized (what does that have to do with anything????) and cans of paint that have been sitting gathering dust for at least 6 months are suddenly calling out to be used. Kitchen, family room and den get a face lift and then Jen realizes that maybe she should do some real preparation for being out of comission! Oh those genes run strong!!

Oct 21--Thanks to all of you who have sent love, prayers, flowers, meals, cards, calls and cookies our direction. The kids say you can send all the cookies you want! Feeling nervous and calm all at once but anxious to start the process of being cancer free for many years to come. Love to you all-- and don't eat in front of me because the fasting starts as of right now! ( you know that I am writing this at midnight--right??)

Oct 22: Scheduled for surgery at the Hunstman Cancer Hospital in the afternoon. Dr. Leigh Neumeyer to do Surgery, Dr. Agarwal to place tissue expanders and Dr. Talmage Egan to do Anesthesia --hear he gives a gourmet cocktail! -hope the pain meds are good and that my mouth can stay quiet while the meds are on board! Ken will write a more professional report later.

Jenifer Update

To all family and friends,

As you may all know, JJ is about to undergo Surgery at the Huntsman Cancer Institute.

She will under go a bilateral mastectomy for breast cancer.

To help keep the communications line open, we will use this blog site to give out updates.