Oh Dogfood!! Should have known I was getting off too easy--because that just usually doesn't happen to me. So today the reality stick hit in the form of my pathology report from the mastectomies....GOOD news is that NO CANCER was found in any of the Sentinel Lymph nodes (4 were biopsied) --that means I have a 98% chance that the cancer has not spread anywhere else in the body. Bad news is that the invasive cancer was bigger than 1 mm--it was in fact 1.1 cm and this tissue sample came back Her-2/neu positive (an indicator for needing chemo). Because of my age (who thought being young would be such a disadvantage) and the size of the invasive cancer...and the new info of the Her 2 positive status it is pretty much dumping me into the category for Chemo. Technically I am borderline...but my physician has gently suggested that Chemo is probably a smart move. So now instead of just recouping for the next 6 weeks I will be the topic of conversation for thursday morning conference (luckily I can just send ken to gather info and skip it myself) and will spend my non sleeping time meeting with oncologists, radiologists and my surgeons and preparing for chemo which could start as early as 3 weeks depending on how fast the sutures and bruising heal from the mastectomies.
So I think my surgeon put it in the best words today--"Thank God that you had a mammogram. You just got a whole new lease on life!" --Leigh Neumeyer. So I am crying tears of fear and grattitude all at once in realizing that I got lucky to find cancer early....just not as lucky as I had hoped. I think I fear the nausea of chemo more than anything...I should be prepared after throwing up with all four babies for the entire 9 months (okay with Andria it was 7 months of puking and 2 months of bedrest and pre-term labor) ...but somehow it doesn't make it any easier to think about or prepare for. Ryan has already promised to shave his head when I lose my hair....I have Seven Brothers and one Bro. in law...I'm thinking that I could have a really fun picture of lots of bald heads (Dad and Stevan already have the jump on us--maybe they can shave their legs too!) at the family reunion in June-- is it family portrait time? My girls have all politely declined the opportunity to join me in my bald state--so all you Sisters-in-law can breathe a sigh of relief.
So here we go on our "year that I had breast cancer" instead of the "season that I had breast cancer". Thanks to all of you who are checking in on us on the blog and in person. And a special thank you to all my sisters ( blood, inlaw, and soul) who are helping me (or should I say I am barely helping them ) keep the house and family functioning. My fridges and freezers are all filled to the brim...and so are our tummies. Thanks for all the gifts and flowers and the list goes on and on......You are all amazing and your love will help us through the dark moments.
Think Pink--hopefully someday this will be a disease that is even more beatable than it is today!
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4 comments:
Thinking Pink here!
The 98% chance of no spread is wonderful. Chemo was not what I was hoping for either, but here's to making the best of it regardless! We heard a story Sunday about a woman with 3 hairs on her head - she looked in the mirror, and said, "I think I'll braid it!" The next day, she only had 2 hairs. She parted her hair down the middle and had a great day. The next day, there were no hairs - so she said, "Wow, I don't even have to do my hair today!"
Keep thinking positive, part your hairs in the middle, and have a great day always!
oh, my heart is heavy for you today but agree that there are positives still. If the season turns into a year then you'll be the recipient of a year's worth of love and support. Know that there are many hearts and souls feeling for you today, as always!
Good news bad news is right! Well I am thinking pink now But I will NOT be shaving my head. I do not know if you have ever wanted to change your hair, but is common for the texture, color ?, amount to change after chemo! Curly hair would look nice on you:) They have lots of good drugs now to ward off side effects. Thinking of you here in the Midwest!
I was picking up Jordan from Drivers Ed. and while we were driving home I was telling him what was going on. He just pops up and says, " I'll shave my head in Aunt Jen's honor." You know he loves ya and his hair. He has been growing out his hair now for nine months. It's long and beautiful. All the girls are trying to decide if the highlights are natural? Being the surfer dude that he is. I thought this was pretty cool.
Oh, I just might get a Utah trip out of this one. We are all praying for you and we know with your amazing attitude your going to do great.
Love Ya....
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